Buffalo, New York
Matan Ar’ye Schwartz
Standing in the corner, drinking down my glass, I made love to the green fairy as her legs parted for me like the sea did for Moses when he raised his staff like I raised the one between my legs as I moved through her/I watched and I counted the tears of men as they fell to the floor like tiny glass shards breaking/blooming at the feet of boys who thought their stories were unique:a thousand lines said a thousand times before: I can be more dominant for you, I can be more submissive, I can do harder, I can do softer, just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll become it…just don’t make me be myself.
I learned a few things staring into the cocaine lined eyes of men peering out from underneath their fedoras:tasting vodka from their lips and nicotine from their breath: good boys date bad boys who date good girls and if you’re a good boy looking for a good boy who’s looking to have a good time you’re going home alone tonight:it’s the way of the hunt so don’t hate the player, hate the game.
So many people wanted to get their fifteen seconds hoping it’ll magically turn into a lifetime of love:the four letter word that’s so hard to define:we all think we know what it is until we get it and then we realize that we never knew it in the first place. But pretty people are like train wrecks just waiting to happen, drawn to one another, as they speed along the tracks that run up one arm and down the next we can’t help but stare as they wrap their muscles around their latest conquest as each one tells the other “this one’s the one” but we all know they’ll be back next week; a few more battle scars as I smile a coy smile watching this Zeffirelli play out like clock work each week before my eyes “Bartender, another drink if you will…I don’t think the nine-fifteen express is going to make it home tonight.”
And as for me? And as for me…I’ve danced with hundreds of bodies and I’ve moved like the ocean under a moon that no sailor would dare sail on:I’ve tasted the skin of a thousand shades, but you see, I’m different, I’ve never shed shards of glass ’cause we all know that bad boys love nothing more than good boys who break all the rules…I always get mine, we’ll see if tonight you get yours as you smile at me, feigning shock and look into my eyes before you shove me to turn me around and hit me playfully in the back of my head to tell me ever so gently that it’s time to get into the car as we once again return to our apartment as you carry me up the stairs and throw me on the bed and as smoke leaves your mouth, you lean in to whisper in my ear through lips still attached to a cigarette “you’ll get yours tonight all right…” as a stubbled chin rubs against my neck; and who knows how long we’ve known each other as days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and months turned to years but who cares about details like titles and anniversaries when I’ve got your arms wrapping around me every night…I’ve got myself my bad boy and he’s got himself his good boy and we’re dancing a dance meeting each other like each night’s our first and making love like each night’s our last.