Too Gay to Function Moment of the Month

I go to my kitchen, just now, and attempt to open a bottle to get a drink…I try turning the cap to the right, and it’s not coming off, and it rubs against my hand…”fucker” I thought (because I’m thirsty) so I go to my tool belt (from when I worked construction) that hangs on the storage thing outside of my kitchen, and I get a wrench…and I turn the cap to the right again and it isn’t coming off so as I’m twisting it to the right, getting frustrated I start saying the old adage “righty…tighty…lefty…wait….ohh...” so I put down my wrench, twist the cap to the left, and it comes off with ease…so I’m no longer thirsty…and now, I’m going to go brush my teeth and go to bed.