What is sleep?/Travel/Course Work so Far/etc.

There’s plenty time to sleep when you’re dead.

Classes for Next Semester:
Arabic IV with Prof. Roustum
Structure of English: Sound System with Karen E. Michelson
Structure of English: Grammar & Lexicon with David Zubin
Linguistic Anthropology – they’re seeing about getting me into the class, it’s full at the moment.
Advanced Sociolinguistics with Wolfgang Wölck – I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am to be taking a course from this legend.

Classes this Summer:
Finishing my last two GenEds

Final Fall Semester:
Phonetics with Dr. Jaeger (let’s be real: who else?)
Arabic Independent Study with Prof. Roustum unless magically the university sees fit to fund an Arabic V…I mean, why would anyone ever study Arabic…let’s fund Sanskrit instead – no seriously, I’ve taken Sanskrit at UB from R.D. Woodard).
TA-ship – Wherever I best fit in, though I’m hoping with Jaeger just because there’s a lot I can learn from her as a TA that I won’t be able to learn as a student, however I also want the most qualified person to TA so if that person isn’t me, then it’s all cool…always admit what you don’t know right off the bat, admitting you don’t know something allows you to succeed.
And then (at my count) one more class (I forget which one)…though I could be wrong…it happens every now and then.

Then Graduation in December of 07!

I don’t believe I’ll be walking as the walking part is held in June, though maybe they’ll hold a special session of the Lavender Ceremony for me and the other Queer students graduating at the December session, at the IDC…if not, it really doesn’t bother me. I do hope my grandparents in NJ will come up just so I can show them where I’ve been going to school these five and a half years. Dad should come up again so I can take him to the Frank Lloyd Wright House (he’s one of our favorite designers) and Mom should come up again (she comes up once or twice a year) just to come up (I’ve shown her my life up here already). Plus, it’d be December…they can all use some Buffalo snow.

In all honesty, walking isn’t that important to me. I didn’t go to my high school graduation (I went to Gay Pride in Bryant Park instead, clearly I made the better choice…I think my twin brother slept in). I’ll walk…maybe…when I get the third stripe on my robes…I don’t really feel the need to do it for my B.A., or my Masters…I mean, if the G-Parents really want a picture of me shaking hands with my adviser or the dean I’ll rent the robe, stand outside of an official looking place, and have someone take a digital picture for them.

Then, after I make sure the last of my belongings is either sold, or fits into (at max) two bankers boxes, I strap on my backpack with what’s coming with me to the Middle East, head to JFK International Air Port and get on a plane, go to sleep, and wake up in Tel Aviv.

Paauw said I wasn’t allowed to take 25 years off like he did before I start grad work…but I don’t view this next phase as “taking off” – I’m getting myself prepared to contend. I’m going to finish fluency…I’m going to experience another culture, I’m going to experience stress, fear, apprehension, joy, and numerous other emotions. I’m going to experience things that I haven’t encountered yet challenging myself to come up with new, innovative and creative solutions to handle them and I’ll also be experiencing some beautiful men and for that too, I’m excited. This is in no way the end of my higher education, in fact, it’s barely a start.

I meet with Nefesh B’Nefesh this December; they’re very nice over there, I’ve been speaking with them. After I figure out how the whole process works with one of their counsellors, I’ll determine when I can apply to TAU and then think, about possibly, making a decision about when.

“There’s only so much you can learn in one place, the more that I wait, the more time that I waste…I haven’t got much time to waste, it’s time to make my way. I’m not afraid of what I’ll face, but I’m afraid to stay, I’m going down my own road and I can make it alone, I’m working, I’m fighting, I’ll find a place of my own…are you ready to jump? Get ready to jump. Don’t ever look back oh baby, yes I’m ready to jump, just take my hand, get ready to jump.” – Madonna

I’ve often found going “yup” can solve a lot of things…like when I really don’t feel like listening to someone.

“It’s going to be incredibly hard, you won’t be able to take it, you’ll never make it, you’ll fail and die and you’ll be crushed to death by a thousand pink poodles with horrendous hair cuts” and I reply with a simple “yup” and then they ask “so you’re not going to go?” and I go “nope, I’m still going to go, now I’ll just make sure to send you a post card” and they just stand there and stare at me.

It’s a pretty basic philosophy: I don’t care if it’s hard, I don’t care if I get cut, banged up, bruised or seriously battered during it. The only determining question I ask myself is “was someone else able to do it?” and if the answer is Yes, than I know I can do it too. If the answer is No…then I’m going to be the first to do so, or at least the first (or maybe another in a long line) to try. There is NOTHING embarrassing or humiliating about failing, the only embarrassing or humiliating thing is if you give in to others past failures or fears that they have about themselves and subsequently project on to you, and don’t even try.

No fear…best slogan a company ever came up with.

My mom had a good email signature for a while, not quoting exactly, but something to the effect of:

You should not arrive on time to your funeral, in a well preserved body, but rather, late, screeching to a stop, smoking, as you fall into your coffin, banged, bruised, cut, hollering “Good God what an awesome ride!”

The only thing that can stop us short of chains of bondage from doing what we want in life…is ourselves.

99.99% of the time, when I announce that I’m going to do something (as Alice – maleficentseyes – can probably tell you best) it means I’ve already thought about it for a long time, held the town hall meeting with myself, campaigned, voted, and now I’m just publicly releasing the results…I’m not actually looking for comment.

Life happens folks, get a mop. Clean it up, then get back out there…life is for living not existing.

I hope to have an awesome experience: if I do, awesome.
If I have a gut wrenching, awful, experience, where I’m miserable: awesome. It’s still an experience, and an important one to have. Life is all about experiences, some good, some bad, all required and all make you a better person.

How can you possibly know the joy of having someone say “yes” when you ask them on a date, until you have a few people say “no” first? How can you know the joy of life unless you have been touched by death? How can you rejoice if you have never known sorrow? How can you be full if you’ve never known hunger? How can you fight for freedom with your whole heart if you have never felt oppression?

I’m never lost, wherever my feet are, is where I’m supposed to be.

And on that note, it’s time for my feet to take me to my bedroom so I can get up for class tomorrow.