You might be wondering why there’s a tampon, up my nose…

I’ll tell you.

Ever since I was nine, and then again my sophomore year of college when I fell six feet into a cement floor, lacerating my lip, smashing in my teeth, and breaking my nose…my nose has gotten, shall we say, progressively flatter and damaged.

So, I took a nap after Toronto and woke up with my nose bleeding…and it just. wouldn’t stop. So I called Candie (covarla) who was wonderful and she and Mikey drove me to Millard Fillmore Suburban Hospital (you might recall MF as the place I went when I fell out of bed a few years back)…I walk in, with a tshirt in a ball over my face, covered in blood and the nurse was like “You’re next!” and this security guy comes up to me and goes “do you think ice would help” and I was like “Yes, I think ice would be wonderful, thanks” so I get an ice pack.and then the nurse starts doing Triage like things (like, asking me if a kindergartner beat me up) and she provided me with my diagnosis (“you have issues”). Then, a few moments later, I’m brought in to the O.R. where the Physicians Assistant and a Nurse attempt to stop the bleeding…and attempt, and attempt…

So they finally mix Neosenephrine with Lidocaine, remove the 4 inch long clot that was semi-forming, instill the mix with some cotton, then wait a bit, remove the cotton and they take another look and he says “I can’t cauterize your nose, because it’s pumping so hard, so we need to put in a nose-tampon” (I’m assuming nose-tampon is the non-technical term). So they do…and there it still is…a tampon, in my nose (currently all the fashion, or at least I’m trying to make it a trend). I’m told to come back in 24 hours to have the tampon removed…Shirah (stoicdaydreamer) is driving me over at midnight so I can get this thing out of my nose.

I now have an appointment with an ENT on Wednesday on The Island.

Anyways, so I call Alice (maleficentseyes) and she says I can come over and sleep there in case, you know, I start bleeding again and we need to go back to MFSH (this is the option we’re NOT going for…not the sleeping over, that’s fun…the going back to the hospital bleeding part, I really *do* try and avoid it).

On a side note, every time I *do* go to MFSH I get a cute, male doctor, and every time I go (to myself) “ohh, I wonder if he’s Jewish/Gay/Single” and then every time my left side of the brain smacks my right side of the brain and goes “now is not the time.” I have to stop meeting people like this.

Also, I’m told whenever I have some kind of accident that ‘you need a better story’ – apparently my accident stories aren’t exciting enough. I don’t know how I feel about that.

So at the moment, I have a tampon sticking out nose, one side of my nose just looks weird, and I’m eating waffles.

I’m loads of fun.