“You know You’ve got to go through hell before you get to heaven…”

Subject: “You know You’ve got to go through hell before you get to heaven…”

Date: Tuesday 9/5/06 5:00:00 AM

Music: Jet Airliner – Steve Miller Band

“You’ve got to go through hell till you get to heaven” – Jet Airliner – SMB

I’ve been in the process of restructuring my schedule, my life, my politics, my apartment…in short my life.

It’s not like all of a sudden there’s this manic-rapid shift or even a fundamental shift in any of the above mentioned categories. It really is just that I’ve had many small shifts over the past year and the fight with my dad coupled with my 22nd birthday really just made me go “Okay, I’m dealing with everything…now so I don’t have to deal with it later” so I could just finish a bunch of things and use that to launch me to where I want to be and so that I could deal with where I’m going and how I plan on getting there.

Traditionally I give myself until the third week of classes to lock in my schedule, the first three weeks I just have to keep slightly fluid otherwise I’d go insane…but by the third week the dust seems to settle and the schedule is revealed (we’re now entering week two). I hope this doesn’t take longer, but true to form…I already have a cold…so it might. Bah!

However, speaking academically for a moment:

I don’t have the time to waste or the patience to sit and wither away in the Hebrew class at UB (I thought I’d give it another go but the woman isn’t a linguist and she doesn’t teach…the fact that she tells us about how Angels gave us the language should be a clue, though she gave me a hug on the first day of class because she was happy to see me so she can’t be all bad, or at least she recognizes just how awesome I am…which I guess means she really isn’t all that bad =P). So as far as Hebrew goes I’m self study from here on in. It’s not like I don’t have a sufficient number of Israelis to practice with and there’s always Y!M Voice Chat or Shulamit in NYC.

Arabic, however is going swimmingly, definitely one of the top five professors I’ve had in my life. I’m taking Wednesday to flash card everything (though my book appears to be AWOL at the moment…I’ll have to hunt it down later today) and to come up with a study plan for the Semester (I smell an Excel spreadsheet coming).

I’ve almost completely gutted my apartment of useless crap. I’ve de-cluttered, de-junked and gotten rid of every piece of furniture that dad made me take that I didn’t like and didn’t want and didn’t need (why did I need a TV Cart? I don’t OWN a TV…). I got rid of the ugly smelly couches and have floor pillows instead in the hookah corner and now I’m getting ready to finish clearing out my closet and then weed out my bookshelf (I’ll be having a box sale of books soon, $3.00 a book). My closets haven’t looked cleaner and I’m just cutting back on everything.

Once all of that’s done I can then start doing Graduate School Searches online and figure out just when I’ll be able to study for the GRE and begin to plow through all of the Ladefoged books I own (which is actually a rather large number) I’m no where near where I want to be with Phonetics yet (I’m getting there, but certainly not there yet…not even close) and I need to work on Acoustic Phonetics a lot more than I have been and this, of course, also requires great amount of flash carding.

As a matter of fact, not that I’d ever give out a stock tip, but I do foresee myself purchasing copious amounts of index cards in the very near future, if anyone wants to jump on that.

It’s so frustrating studying languages where in one Department (Hebrew) there’s only one professor, who isn’t a linguist and spends class time telling us about developments in Netty Pot Technology and the other (Arabic International Studies) where there’s only one professor who IS a linguist, who is AMAZING, who teaches…but he’s the only one in the AIS department, and you can only take four classes with him (though they’re thinking of adding on a third year which doesn’t really benefit me, though I’ll be able to take a semester of it). I feel sort of cheated, like I’m getting this great taste of something awesome…but I can’t have another spoonful…it’s like getting a blowjob of education and then having the other guy go “oh, shit look at the time, I gotta run” before you actually get anywhere productive…or something.

Grad School Hunting

(In no particular order)


I’ve been told by Dr. Jaeger to look in Melbourne, Sydney and Perth (mind you, I have no idea where those are in relation to anything, I’m directionally challenged as Evan (psychoticjester can tell you), but truth be told, I never saw UB until after I told them I accepted their offer of admission…of course how I would pay for school in Australia I don’t know (but in reality, I don’t have to figure out where all the pieces of the puzzle go just yet…I just need to sort of know – vaguely – in what order they connect).

Benefits include programs that aren’t taught anywhere else in the world, awesome opportunity, Koalas and other cuddly creatures…oh, and Wallabies.

Deficits include the fact that it’s really far away from NYC; unsure if they know what bagels are.

New York

I’m just putting out a fishing net and applying to a ton of schools, but primarily UB.

Benefits of UB include the fact that I’ll be near family and friends, won’t have to sell all my stuff (which is EXACTLY what I’ll be doing if I’m moving elsewhere – even instate – there is no way in hell I’ll EVER go through that kind of packing and unpacking mishugas again). Other Benefits are that I have Prof. R who will work with me in Arabic, on Arabic, for free. Other benefits are that hopefully Liz (starbuckx) will be in NYC.

Disadvantages of Buffalo are that the Gay scene really just leaves a lot to be desired (Rochester’s Gay scene is SO much nicer) though that’s always subject to change.


I’m applying to Harvard for the Rejection Letter. I’m really serious about hanging that up too…right next to the nobel prize I’m going to win…wait and see. There’s no way I’d be able to handle Red Sox fans for the period of time that it would take me to accomplish my masters (or really, for anything more than a two week vacation). You’ve seen those T-Shirts “Yankees Suck, Jeter Swallows” well guess what, at least Jeter doesn’t use teeth. Not to mention the grating accent “KAHKIS!” “WHAT!?” KAHKIS!” “WHAT!…wait…CAR KEYS?”

Sorry, there’s just too much interstate feuding.

Benefits: Carrie & Stephen

Deficits: Too many to list.


One of my favorite states and I could claim residency (bwhahaha instate tuition will be mine!) through my Aunt and Uncle.

Benefits include Vermonters: Vermont Guys (not like, hippies…like, Guys) are not only incredibly attractive on the whole, but you could be driving with them let’s say in Utah, your car will break down and one will go “Oh, don’t worry about it, I buried some tools around here ten years ago just in case this would happen” – I shit you not, travel with some, you’ll see. Other pluses are that they have universities with Arabic as a department as per my last search.

Deficits: There’s not to many, just that it would be a whole new scene for me to break into. Oh, I wouldn’t be able to get the Mini-Cooper I’ve been thinking of…I can’t imagine that in a Vermont winter.


Canada would be nice on many levels as well…there’s moose…and Canadians and in reality, the two are really a winning combination. Other benefits are Mounties in Uniform and George who still doesn’t know that I totally plan on marrying him, gorgeous canadian bassist that he is. Other benefits are that it would (feasibly) close to Quebec (unless I went to school in Quebec, which would mean I’d be there) and I have a thing for French-Canadians in Speedos…or rather, a certain French Canadian in a Speedo (no, not george, he’s Mississaugan I think) and that I think it might be a really, really cool experience to go to University in Toronto.

Israel/Middle East

Tons of Benefits, Ton’s of Deficits and I’d rather stick with the “go there three months out of the year and come back” plan I have going on right now.


I have no idea where I’d apply to here, but I think it might be neat to experience the opposite coast of which I’ve heard so much about. Benefits are that I know people up and down the Californian coast and that it’s a Coast…I hate living away from the ocean. Deficits are it’s distance from NYC.

North Carolina/Georgia/Arizona

I think it might be neat…and it would be warm (I think, from what I’ve been told).

What I Can Tell You

Is that I really have no idea where I’m going to wind up, but every part of the world has someone and something to teach me so I’m really just open to applying to a bunch of places, getting in somewhere (and if it’s not UB) selling all of the stuff I own except some underwear and a change of clothes and a jacket and my laptop, etc, filling up my backpack, and getting on a bus or a plane and starting the next step.

I can also tell you that as I throw out shit and I can fit more and more of everything I own in a backpack I feel much better; my stress goes down, I feel much better about myself because it means that if the shit hits the fan I’m just a backpack away from freedom. It means I can just go on my way when I’m done with this segment of my life and do whatever it is that I need to do it. And that, to me, is really exciting because it means I’m on my way, to being on my way.

So there’s are my random thoughts at 5am, hopefully they make some semblance of sense. Anyways, it’s time to try that whole sleep thing again.