Sex Without Foreplay is like Ice Cream Without Sprinkles…why bother?

Subject: Sex Without Foreplay is like Ice Cream Without Sprinkles…why bother?

Date: Thursday 8/17/06 5:21:00 AM

Mood: Almost Time For Coffee

Music: Boulevard of Broken Dreams-Green Day-Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Single

Anyways, almost all packed for Florida. I’m going down to move my Grandmother into Independent living; this will be the second time I’m down there in a quite a few years. The last time I was there was when my Grandfather was on his deathbed and I said goodbye…it was the same month that I had my first kiss (well, Gay kiss).

“Oh don’t tell me that wasn’t fun, GOD it’s been so long since I’ve had a decent spot of violence” – Spike

Can’t say I’m terribly excited to be going to Florida. First, it really isn’t my favorite state. I hate bugs, and more importantly, I really, really dislike butterflies (they freak me out, and really, I can’t express to you fully how much I dislike them…I know, I know ‘they’re pretty’ – let’s just say that there’s a reason I’m not allowed in butterfly world anymore and we’ll leave it at that (Carrie’s with me on this one though, stupid butterflies).

I know a lot of people like to hang out on beaches and stuff during vacations and yeah…I don’t do vacations…I do trips. Like, I need to be doing something, where potentially, I have a chance to be killed, maimed or otherwise injured for an extended period of time to relax and clear my mind:

Been trapped in a herd of wild Bison? Done it. Mom was there. It was fun.

Horse rode through the wilderness to the farthest point of any road in the U.S.? Done it. It was fun. Dad’s horse had more flatulence then my Dad does, which was impressive to say the least. I felt bad for the horse…and the person riding behind it…my dad’s horse also fell asleep…standing up – I’ve NEVER seen a horse do that before or since…clearly his horse rode the mini-bus to school.

Had wild horses trample through our camp site? Yup. I wasn’t scared, so much as pissed…it was like 5am and the guy in the camp site over from ours didn’t hobble his horses because they were (the asshole said this net gem with a straight face) ‘well they behaved the night before’ – okay, they’re not your teenager, they’re horsies…and they’ve now gone and woke me and everyone else up well before I was even near starting my first cup of coffee (I’m not human until about my third or fourth cup of coffee…and that’s just getting us started on the daily caffeine intake). John Henry shoed the horses over the river that was near the camp; let the moron round ’em up later.

Hotel Fires? More than once (these REALLY get the blood flowing).

Rock Climbed? A bit, something I really need to get back into…I haven’t done it in years (like since I was 12).

Ice Climbed? Not yet…but coming really, really soon. I just need to find an outfitter and trainer and a location that’s good for beginners at the novice level.

Hurricanes of Large Proportions? Yeah, I think I was 11, we were traveling in The South. It was fucking AWESOME to see the storms come in over the water, we were in Nags Head, North Carolina – totally gorgeous. Ever since I’ve wanted to chase storms at least once in my life, it’s still on the To Do list.

Swam in a Flash Flood? Yup…well I had to to get from the Car to the sidewalk somehow, and then to someone’s door. Mom was there for that one too…she was driving at the time. I was in Middle School I think (I’m not sure, I’d have to ask her for the year that happened).

Pulled my Dad – who was upside down at the time – from the Trees he and his skis were stuck in? Yes…he said he ‘caught an edge’ my response was ‘what kind of edge leaves you hanging upside down in the trees?’ – he just grunted. I still quite haven’t figured out how he managed to do it and he isn’t telling.

E.R. Visits: Quite a few actually, we used to have our ‘regular’ plastic surgeon (my twin and I) that we requested when we needed to be stitched up…I can safely say that I am the cause for more than one of my mom’s grey hairs (lol Marian, one day I’ll introduce you to my Mother).

Now all of the above, to me was FUN – as you can see, I really don’t like those boring, no first aid kit required, vacations. What’s the point?

I can shop at a mall at home, I can sit on a beach at home…I can only face riot police, wild fires, mass flooding, and other near death experiences in other parts of the globe. I swear to God, my husband – when I finally find him (well, I’m still rooting for George in all honesty, hot canadian bass guitarist that he is) is gunna have to be tough as nails and ready for action (both in and out of bed) or at least really, really calm in ‘crisis’ (read: my vacation) situations. I pride myself in the fact that I have almost every Worst Case Scenario survival book (not only that, I post-it flagged the REALLY important entries, like how to jump into a dumpster and get across the top of a moving train) and that Kim (Good Kim, not Evil Kim) gave me the page a day calendar last holiday season.

So you’re more than welcome to go to Sandals or Beaches or the Mall of America…i’ll stick with high risk zones…and maybe traveling to the Southern Hemisphere to play with Penguins (providing they’re friendly…I actually need to check on that, but if they are i want to sled with them)….how COOL would that be? Dude, I’d love to be able to slide like they can, it just looks like so much fun. I think Candie (covarla) would have to come with me for that trip though…if I went without her, she’d kill me.

Okay, time to burn a CD For the Trip and then finish packing in the joint clothing back and then getting my satchel filled with pens, writing materials, etc for the trip. I don’t know how people functioned before the invention of messenger bags and the like, I can’t live without mine (I mean I can, it’d just be less organized living lol).

Okay…peace out all; I’ll pone post from FL when I get there ’cause I’m leaving the laptop at the LI house so I can get through security easier.